Total Drama Reality
by Madnessisfun
Summary: IT's been a whole year since Total Drama World Tour. What have the campers been up too? Come in and find out! Two new faces are trecking across Canada to show you where they are what they've been up too. Rated for mild violence, cursing and romance.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama in any way shape or form.

Authors Note: This story contains mild cursing and heavy make out sessions from the campers. If that bugs you, read anyway, I need the reviews.

-TDR-

Sam and Jack are crusing down the highway in a black 1992 Camerro. Jack yawns and looks at Sam "Oy! How much longer till we get to Alberta to find Harold?" he whines from the passenger.

Sam shrugs, eyes glued to the road. "Bout a half an hour, maybe more." he states, earning a groan from Jack. "Man! Chris is gonna be ticked if this film goes to waste!" Sam sighed "Well it's not my fault our camera ninjas started filming early. How about we take this time to explain what the show's about and a little about each other."

Jack nods "Alright." he looks towards the front of the car and grins. "Morning viewers! I'm John Kinstread, the stronger and better looking of the mansferd brothers."

Sam rolled his eyes "You forgot humble." Jack glares at him "Silence! Now, as I've stated I'm younger than Sam, by about six years. That puts me at the tender age of seventeen, the same age most of our contestants started total drama! I would have joined the new season, but I like food that doesn't crawl and waking up at a descent our, with out the aid of a soccer horn."

Sam chuckles "You can't beat the classics man."

Jack nods "Indeed. I'm a junior in high school and I'm spending my summer vacation with my brother all across Canda for the show. My friends are gonna be so jellouse, they'll loose there minds! Now, what about you Sammy-san?"

Sam rolls his eyes "Quit razzing me will ya?" Jack grinned "Nope." Sam shrugs "Fair nuff. I'm Sam Kinstread, the elder Kinstread brother and long time follower of the Total Drama series, seeing as how I was preasent for most of it. That's because I was an intern back during Total Drama Island and Action, and then moved down to one of Blaineley's assistants."

Jack raised an eyebrow "I thought you said it was a promotion."

Sam nods "It was, but most of us would have prefered getting shot out of a cannon into the side of a cliff covered in fire ants to dealing with miss 'Blaneriffic'. Luckily, all I had to do was deal with her morning coffee and Bagle."

Jack crosses his arms "Still doesn't sound that bad."

Sam remains calm though his fingers are tightening around the wheel "Look in the glove copartment for a red notepad, that has the order in it."

Jack opened the compartment and finds the notepad. Flipping though it, his eyes widen. "Dude, this thing is filled front and back!"

Sam grit his teeth in frustation "Yeah! And that was just for the morning! You should see then note books filled with her lunch orders."

Jack gulpped "Sorry Sam."

Sam sighs "Well now you know. I'm now twenty three and in charge of Total Drama Reality, a show taking a look at the campers one year after Total Drama World Tour. We'll spend a day tailing them and seeing just what it is they're doing now a days. As an added bonus Chris hired special Nija camera men. That way we get footage from all angles, and no one's the wiser. That's the type of quality that's standard for Total Drama."

Jack blinks "Wow, a whole year, that puts them in their early twenties. That's pretty old."

Sam growled "Shutupa-yoface!"

Jack realised what he implied and held up his hands "Sorry dude. No offense."

Sam said nothing and checked too see if the other lane was free of traffic, it was. Jerking the wheel sharply, Sam swerved, causing jack to smack his head on the window. "Ass!" he cried, rubbing his head as Sam straightened the car, grinning slyly. "Now, while I might have had a rough time on Total Drama, I still learned alot from my fellow interns and Chris himself. I grew to respect the lovable sadist and after some idle chatter, talked him into letting us do this show."

Jack smirked "Thats one of Sam's strong suits. He could convince and orange it's a bannana and peel itself to boot."

Sam grinned "Oh, go on." he paused "No really, go on."

Jack shakes his head "This is gonna take a while."

Sam looks up and smirks. "Not any more, we're there." he said, passing a Welcome to Alberta sign.

Jack grins "Thank god!" Sam hands Jack a bag "Here, get changened into this real quick."

Jack looks through the bag "Err, Sam? I thoguht you said we wouldn't need desguises since they never met us before."

Sam smirks "Yes, but Harlods located in a place where costumes are many, pockey is plentiful and fat men wear obscene outfits."

Jack blincks "The bad side of Alberta?"

Sam laughs "Close, an Anime con!"

Jack face palms "Aw crap. I knew there was a reason you chose Harold first."

Sam shruged "I'm an otaku, give me a break."

Sam looks at his watch "Speaking of breaks it's time to wrap this up. Alright veiwers, you got to learn a little about me and my brah here. Tune in next time where we follow Harlod in a haven for anime fanatics everywhere. Till next time on Total, Drama, Reality!"

Jack looks over at Sam "Wait, where's your costume? Theres no way I'm wearing one by myself."

Sam jerked a thumb behid him. "It's in the back. I spent a good couple weeks putting it together."

Jack snaps his fingers "Rats."

-TDR-

And that was our first chapter. Like it? Hate it? drop a review and let me know how you feel and what you want to see more of.


	2. Harold

I do not own the Total Drama Franchise or it's characters.

* * *

Jack and Sam finish registering and step out into the main hall of the convention. Jack is wearing a long Red coat, a black shirt and matching pants with white gloves, and a blond wig, which he scratched at constantly "Did you pick out the itchiest wig in existence because it was cheep or because you knew I'd be the one wearing it?" he asked Sam, who was wearing a large suit of grey armor, with bits of cloth, leather, plastic and other materials to make it look real.

"A bit of both actually, I meant for Garry to wear the Ed suit since he's even shorter than you, despite being as old as me." Sam answered, though his voice was muffled a bit by the helmet.

Jack sighed "You and your friends. Well, despite being uncomfortable, you did an excellent job on the costumes."

Sam nods "Thanks dude. Like I said it took me a while to put these together, but the end result was well worth it."

Jack nods "Yeah. So, I guess we need to go find Harold then."

Sam smirks under his costume and holds up a copy of the event schedule "Actually he's got a Q&A panel at three, we've got plenty of time."

Jack blinked "Buh, guh, WAIT! If you knew he had a panel at three then why the heck did you insist on getting here at" he checks his cell pone "Noon!"

Sam shrugged "I wanted to browse the merch room, take some pics and sign up early for the cosplay contest."

Jack looks like he's about ready to put a fist through Sam's armor, but just turns away "I'm getting something to drink. I'll meet you at Harold's panel. Okay with you? Great, see ya later." he said as he stomped off deeper into the hall, not waiting for Sam's reply.

Sam blinked in confusion "What did I say?"

"Gosh! That's a sweet Alphonse costume dude." a voice called from behind Sam.

"Thanks, It took me a good deal of time and hard work but I think it went really well." Sam said as he turned to see who'd complimented his work. He gasped at who he was facing.

-TDR-

Jack fumbled with the cap of his Ramune, grumbling to himself "Stupid brother, stupid anime con, stupid Japanese soft drink!" he shouted, opening the drink in the process. "Oh cool." he muttered, taking a swig of the drink. Turning around he choked on it as a short girl with Auburn hair and black kitty ears and tail wearing a Japanese school girl outfit came out of nowhere and stood in Jacks way. She stared at Jack for a while and he looked at her oddly "Err, hi?"

The girl continued to smile absent mindedly and after a minute spoke "Yaoi, Yaoi Edward Yaoi."(1)

Jack's face lost all color when he remembered something Sam told him before they'd registered.

*Ker-flashback!*

Jack is getting his outfit on when Sam looks over at him "Jack, seeing as how you're donning an Edward cosplay, I think it's only fair to warn you about" he paused and leaned in close "Rabid Fangirls."

Jack looks at him like he'd just grown a second head "What'chu talkin bout Sammy?"

Sam remained straight faced "No using Garry Colman quotes, this is serious. If you hear anything like 'yaoi yaoi name yaoi' run. Don't look back, don't ask questions run."

Jack rolls his eyes and mutters sure, pulling his coat on as Sam continues to suit up.

*Flash back end*

Jack take a few steps back from the girl, and turn to run but is cut off when he sees he's encircled by girls of different ethnicities and ages dressed similarly to the girl behind him "This can't be good." he muttered as he heard the first girl shout to the others "Mega glomp!" Jack had no time to move, or think. All he saw was the group of girls leap into the air and dog pile onto him.

-TDR-

Sam didn't know what to do. In front of him was Harold, the reason he was here. Older yes, but he still wore his green tinted glasses and had dyed hair purple. He was wearing a blue jacket with a black shirt underneath, a pair of grey slacks and yellow boots. "You alright dude?" Harold asked asked concerned for Sam's health.

Sam shook his head "Fine. Awesome Trunks costume dude."

Harold grinned "Thanks, not many people here got it at first."

Sam shrugged "Meh, these kids have no respect for the classics. Say, aren't you Harold from the Total Drama Series?"

Harold nods "Yep. I guess that mute period was you star struck right?"

Sam nods "Sure, let's go with that. So what have you been doing since Total Drama?"

Harold shrugged "Not much. I did a few tours with the Drama Boys, and I'm doing a few panels for the con."

Sam nods "Cool, cool. So I" "SAAAAAMMMM!" Sam turns "Wha?"

Jack, his wig askew and his jacket half on, is running for his dear life "Hide me!"

Sam raises an eyebrow "Why?"

Jack points behind him at the ever approaching crowd of rabid fan girls.

Sam and Harold look at each other and Sam looks back at Jack "As an old preacher man once said. Son, you're on your own." he said before he and Harold duck into the merch room.

Jack looks with disbelief "You ass hats! I can't belive you just ditched me! Gah!" he said as he was pulled of to the side. "Oh what now?" he moaned, covering his eyes.

"Someones saving your life, that's what now."

Jack uncovered his eyes to see he'd been grabbed by a pretty blond girl who looked to be around his age, wearing a black tank top, grey cargo pants and a red bandanna around her head.

"Hello" he said, throwing on a suave smile, causing the girl to roll her eyes. "Cool it Romeo 'till after I save your life. Now, I think you missed an important lesson about RFGs, particularly their sight. You see" she threw a large box of pockey behind the mob of rabid fan girls, causing them to turn around and go after the box instead "it's largely based on movement. They're hunters, the less willing the prey the easier it is to spot."

Jack breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks. I'd be dead if it weren't for you. Nice Wrynry outfit by the way."

The girl smirked "Thanks. Name's Cyndi, yours?"

"Jack!" Sam called, leaping in front of his brother with Harold, both armed with a box of pockey "Stand still, I'll save you yet!"

Jack looked to Cyndi "Little late for that. Now, as my dumb ass brother said, I'm Jack. He's Sam, though why he ditched me for a snack is beyond me."

Cyndi calmly took the box from Sam and opened it "Obviously he was trying to pull of the same trick that I did. Right?"

Sam nods "Yep. Con survival tips 101." Harold nods "It's standard procedure for a RFG attack."

Cyndi looked back at Jack "See? He was looking out for you. Now relax, have some pokey, and enjoy the con."

Jack sighed and plucked a piece of pockey(2) "Fine. I'm still ticked though."

Sam shrugged "And thats news how? You've always had a short fuse."

Jack glared at him "Short! Who are you calling too tiny for an ant to see with a magnifying glass huh!"

The other three laugh at this and Harold high fives Jack "Spot on performance! You must've been practicing."

Jack shrugs "Actually I improvised. Still, I think I do a good job."

Sam nods "Your beautiful. Now would your fan girl-friend like to join us?" he asked looking over at Cyndi.

Jack squeaked and dove behind Sam "You mean she's one of those over affectionate nut balls?"

Sam shook his head "No no no. Fan girls are girls are basically female otaku. They love Anime with a passion, and may or may not be kinda nuts. Rabid Fan Girls are the kitty ear wearing lunatics that jumped you. They've taken their passion too seriously and have lost their minds to sugar and sparkely pretty boys." he explained, easing Jacks fears.

Jack looked over at Cyndi, cheeks red from embarrassment "Sorry Cyndi, my bad."

Cyndi smirked and waved it off "It's cool. Noob con goers get the two mixed up all the time. Now lets go already!" she said leading the group to further wild adventures in the con.

As the day went on, Jack met four other people cosplaying Ed, proudly proclaiming the "Fullmetal army" had grown, and would soon rule the world. All four were caught by a girl cosplaying as Russia from Hetalia Axis Powers and were claimed by the USSR(3). Harold went on to do his panel and and answered many questions, he also explained that after the con he'd work on becoming a professional stunt coordinator or action star, which Jack snickered at but Sam believed in. They later had the misfortune of running into another staple of cons that was just as bad as an RFG attack, the dreaded Man Fey (Jack swore he'd lost his sight for five minutes).

After watching a couple episodes form a new anime straight from Japan, Sam looked around for Jack and Cyndi, only to find them making out in a secluded spot in the theater. "Aren't they cute?" Sam joked and Harold nods "Indeed, reminds me of my days with Leshawana back on the island."

Sam frowned "Oh yeah, heard about you two splitting up. Sorry dude."

Harold shook his head "It was totally mutual. Besides, we live on opposite sides of the country. We can all end up like Geoff and Bridget only a few cities apart you know?"

Sam nods "I hear ya man."

Later in the evening, Sam participated in the Cosplay contest and waited eagerly for the final judging. A couple cos playing as Panty and Stocking from Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt got third and the judges were about to announce second place. "Second Place goes to... Sam Kinstread! For his homemade Alphonse armor!" The crowd cheered as Sam excepted his award.

"Sam was freaking robbed." Jack said, still clapping for his older brother.

Harold put a hand on his shoulder "Chill Jack. He still got second place, it's better than nothing. Besides, the person who one first could have put even more time and effort into their costume than he did."

"And the winner of the contest is Sandra Drunade! For her beautiful Princess Nanase(4) costume." Everyone cheered again as a girl in a large, ornate white gown claimed the prise. It was obvious that the gown was well made and Sam felt no shame in loosing to her.

After words the gang decided to hold a room party to celebrate Sam's victory and the two brothers sit back in a pair of arm chairs smiling, the sounds of the party bounce off the walls. "Well Jack I think we had a full day here at the con, what about you?" Sam asked, his helmet by has feet.

Jack nods looking at his wig hanging off a lamp. "Oh yeah, definitely a blast." Jack looks at the other end of the room and laughs "Harold! Get those pants off your head!" he looks at his brother "Do room parties always get this crazy?"

Sam laughs "Please! This is tame compared to some of the room parties I've seen! One time, we managed to bring a goat into the room and dyed it to look like a Pikachu! (5)"

Jack grins "Well then, I think we should wrap up the show and kick this party up a notch." Jack says, getting out of his seat to join the festivities.

Sam nods "So viewers, you got a glimpse into one of the craziest events in civilized society. We laughed, we cried, Jack nearly got mauled by Rabid Fan Girls! All in all, a great day. What surprises await us in the future? No one knows, but one things for sure, it'll be totally dramatic! So stay tuned, to Total! Drama! Reality!" He exclaimed jumping out of his seat. A wicked grin crossed his face and looked up "Hey Harold! No of any farms in the vicinity!

* * *

And there it is, the second chapter. Not bad for only having three days too prepare. As before, please review, they make me all warm and fuzzy inside. Also, I'm going to post little factiods about elements from the story down here after each chapter.

(1): This is (basically) the catch phrase of Acerotiburon's rabid fan girl characters on Deviantart. All credit goes to her for inventing such an awesome phrase.

(2) That just gave me an idea for an awesome tongue twister. Pauly picked a pointy piece of purple pineapple pockey.

(3) This actually happened to me at a con. She wrote USSR on my hand, it was awesome.

(4) I totaly ran out of anime's to use so I made that name up on the spot .

(5) Icecold288 does not condone the random dying of farm animals to look like pokemon, even if it does sound hilarious.


	3. Alejandro

Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own The Total Drama series and all of its characters. Don't worry though, I'm working on it.

Warning- This chapter has a few more curse words than, err, the other two chapters. Sorry in advance.

* * *

Sam and Jack are back in the black Camerro, aka the Drama Mobile(1). Jack is asleep in the passenger seat, snoring loudly against the window with Sam driving, looking beat.

"Wel-*Yawn*! Welcome back to Total Drama Reality. I'm your host with the most, Sam Kinstread. Last time, we crashed an Alberta anime convention in search of Harold. We found him, interviewed him, and as we promised, the event was not boring. Jack came close to getting mauled, I won second place in the cosplay contest, and partied long into the night. As much fun as it was hanging with Harold, we needed to get moving if we wanted to catch our next subject, Alejandro. So I quietly snuck Jack out of the hotel and started the long trek to his house on the other side of town." he explained, taking a large sip of Monster(tm), an energy drink that the con was selling exclusively.

Shifting in his sleep, Jack flips over, arms around Sam. "Come 'ere Cini" Jack mutters, planting a huge smootch on Sams cheek. Sam looks horrified and trys to keep driving while at the same time pulling out of Jacks grip. Jack opened his eyes to find he is in fact kissing his brother and screamed, recoiling in fear. Spitting and swearing, Jack scratches at his tongue and Sam rolls his eyes. "You know it wasn't a picnic for me either pal." he muttered, pulling his car over "We're here."

Jack looked up "Where?" What he saw was a large apartment building in a relatively nice part of town. "Cool, who are we looking for?"

Sam smirked "Alejandro."

Jack grinned "Ah the Jackass of Death(2) himself. I wonder if we'll be able to find him in there?" he asked, looking back at the large house.

Sam watched as an Escalade pulled out of the parking garage next door and drove off down the road. Sam recognized the driver and smiles "We won't need to, he just left." Sam said, starting the car back up, and followed Alejandro in hot pursuit.

-TDR-

Sam and Jack tail Alejandro to a small cafe in town where he gets a table for two on the terrace. Sam walks up to the waiter by the door and smirks "Hi, table for two. Is it possible to get us a table behind that young man who just came in?" The waiter frowns "Well, I don't know, the terrace is getting full and we're trying to save the seat for more, *ehem* established customers."

Sam smirks and looks around before slipping a bill into the waiters breast pocket "You're absolutely certain you cant do us that one tiny favor?" The waiter looks around before smiling "Actually, I think I see a table just opening up." he said, leading the two to their table.

After sitting down, Sam and Jack glance at Al before looking at each other. "Okay, he came into the city, and he orders a table for two. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he's here on a date." Jack whispers.

Sam smirks "Good eye Jack, did you also happen to catch the sky is blue today?" he asks with a chuckle.

Jack rolls his eyes "Whatever. Hey, how much did you pay that guy to get in here?"

Sam's smirk slides into a sly smile "Well, lets just say we're short one fifty in our Monopoly game."

Jack snickers "Nice! So, who do you, Heather!"

Sam looks at Jack oddly "Well I don't usually Heather till the second date, or at least buy a drink for the girl first."

Jack shook his head "Behind you dumb ass."

Sam glances behind him and gets a good look at the young couple. Heather and Alejandro are both looking well, despite Alejandro's hair being a bit shorter. It seems as though they were trying to remain inconspicuous, With Heather wearing a blue top, black skirt and wearing a blonde wig and Alejandro wearing a plain black t shirt and sunglasses, but Sam and Jack could tell it was them.

"Well well well, it seems we've run into the subject of our next show too." Sam whispered, Jack nodding enthusiastically. Sam took a small note pad from his pocket and flipped through it, stopping at one page "Te kudasai. Hishatai no chikaku o shutoku.(3a)"

Jack looked at Sam oddly but relaxed. "Oh yeah. Our camera men can only speak Japanese."

Sam smirks as the camera zooms in on Alejandro and Heather. Alejandro looks at Heather and smiles "You look great mi amor."

Heather smiles softly "Thanks, but we can't keep meeting like this. I mean, the espionage [art does add a bit of romance, but I want to be myself with you."

Alejandro shakes his head "Heather, we've dated on and off for a year now. You know as well as I that that just can't happen. We're too of Total Drama's most wanted, the media would be all over us if they knew where we were."

Heather sighs "You're right. I'm sorry, I've just been feeling weird these last few weeks."

Alejandro puts a hand on her shoulder "Maybe it's just stress. I know I get muy cabreado(4a) if too much stress piles up."

Heather nods "By the way, hows your job holding up?"

Alejandro shrugs "Meh, it's alright. Working as a file clerk is boring but at least it pays well. Trust me, my brother barely let me live down loosing TDWT to you."

Heather chuckles nods "Yeah, I was over for dinner that one night. Your brother was an...Burro? Did I say that right."

Alejandro leans over and kisses Heather softly on the lips. "Dama perfectamente sexy.(4b)"

Heather giggles and Jack makes a face "Great, face sucking. It's only the second frigging episode people!"

Sam shakes his head as shouting can be heard. Sam, Jack, Heather and Alejandro turn to see that a one of the ninja camera men was arguing with a waiter.

"Sir, I'm sorry but we don't allow cameras in the restaurant." the waiter tried to explain, but all he got was angry japanese from the ninja.

"What in the world?" Heather began to ask but was pulled up by Alejandro "Come on Heather, I smell a rat wearing too much gel in his hair." he explained as he led Heather out.

Sam and Jack get up and sneak out behind the other two "What kind of a camera ninja gets caught by a waiter? Honestly!" Jack gripes as they make their way out of the building.

-TDR-

Sam and Jack follow Heather and Alejandro to a mall, where they're discussing the events back at the restaurant.

"You know that was totally Chris's doing back there right?" Heather asks, not noticing Sam and Jack following close behind.

"Si. Chris was obviously trying to pull some stunt that I could only begin to imagine." he said obviously ticked.

Heather smiles "Well, Chris or no Chris, I plan on keeping my promise to you for getting lunch."

Alejandro looks shocked "Really? But what if he's watching?"

Heather wraps her arms around his neck, looking deep in to his sea green eyes "Let him watch."

Alejandro smiles and the two enter a store. Sam and Jack move into follow but stop when they see what store it is. "Shite." Jack mutters, staring in horror at the Victoria's Secret sign.

Sam takes a deep breath "It's cool. I came prepared for situations like this, we just need to get back to the Drama-mobile."

Jack cocks an eyebrow "You prepared? How?"

Sam whispers into Jack's ear, draining the color from his face. Jack doesn't shout, he doesn't attack, he just runs.

Sam shakes his head "Why do they always do it the hard way? Tagu kare!(3b)" he shouts.

In mid-run, Jack is hit in the back with a tanq-dart, causing him to fall instantly.

Sam walks over and puts Jack on his shoulder "Come on Babybell." Sam mutters taking Jack back to the car.

-TDR-

A moment later, Sam walks into Victoria's secret, wearing a pair of fake glasses, a blue polo shirt, and his normal jeans. Waiting a few seconds, he turns to the door "Would you hurry it up?" he hisses, urging Jack to enter.

When Jack did, he swore he heard audiences around the world laughing at him. He was in a pair of Capris, a small black t-shirt with 'Princess' written in glitter and a long red wig that made him look ridiculous.

"No offense Jackie, but you make a convincing drag queen." Sam said, a small grin on his lips.

Jack leans in close to his brother "I will make you pay. You're suffering will be legendary, even in hell." he said, his voice dripping with venom.

Sam payed little attention to his brother "Picking random bits off the racks "I love that movie remember? Besides, this is _MY _payback for kissing me in the car."

Jack boils in rage "I told you that was an accident! I was a-freaking-sleep at the time!"

Sam rolls his eyes "Whatever Noah."

Jack gives Sam a glare that would be able to kill small animals and infants "You take that back this instant!"

Sam shoves the clothes into Jack's arms and pushes him towards the dressing rooms "Make me."

That was the final straw. Jack dropped the clothes and grabbed Sam's shoulder and thigh, throwing him through the door of one of the changing rooms, revealing a shirtless Alejandro and Heather, in mid-make out.

Sam groans "Ah! Forgot he could do that." he mutters looking at the couple smiling nervously. "Second base huh? Nice dude!"

Alejandro couldn't help but smirk "Gracias a mi amigo." he looks at Sam hard and frowns "Wait, weren't you also at the restaurant when the ninja showed up?"

Sam shrugs "Small world huh? What was up with that by the way?"

Alejandro growls and picks Sam up buy his collar "Wow your strong! Guess you lifting that rock with a pickax wasn't Chris editing the footage after all. Killer song by the way."

Alejandro glares at Sam while Heather puts her top back on "Again, gracias, I love classic rock and work out almost every day. Now, why is Chris McLean following us?"

Sam feigns shock "What? McLean? Why would I work for that guy?"

"Because you were at the restaurant and now you're here. It's either an incredible coincidence or you're spying on us."

Before Sam could say more, the store manager sees whats happened "Nobody move! I'm calling security to throw you all out!"

Jack groans and takes his disguise off, leaving him in a pair of black bike shorts a a tight muscle shirt "Forget it dude our cover's blown!"

Sam nods and shouts "Tagu kanojo! Hinan kōdoburū! Gō! Gō! Gō!(3c)"

The manager gets a dart in her neck before she can do anther thing and the store fills with white smoke. Sam, Jack, Alejandro and Heather all run from the store and out the mall, each couple leaping into their respectful cars.

-TDR-

The cars barrel down the road, Alejandro,s swerving in and out of lanes and the Drama-Mobile following every step of the way.

Jack looks at a camera and winces as he's tossed in his seat "Welcome *oof!* back. Sam followed Alejandro and Heather down a deserted stretch of Canadian back road to try and get a bit more footage. Alejandro's been trying to shake us since we left the mall. Ouch! And sadly hasn't succeeded!" He shouts at his brother, who makes another sharp turn.

Sam stares ahead, eyes locked on the Escalade in front of him. "To the last, I will grapple with thee... from Hell's heart, I stab at thee! For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!" he snarls, not even at Jack but at the Escalade itself.

Jack sweat drops "Greeeaaatttt. Nows he's either quoting Moby Dick or Wrath of Khan. Either way that's bad." he mutters. Suddenly, Alejandro parks outside a large ranch with a fence around the perimeter, the front open ever so slightly, and Sam follows suite.

The brothers watch as the two ex-villains hop out of the car and run to the back.

"Sam, buddy, I don't like the look of this." Jack says, gulping nervously.

Sam merely unbuckles and gets out of the car. "You can stay if you want, this is personal. Alejandro made me look like an idiot on tv. He will pay." he said, heading towards the back.

Jack watches him and sighs, following after his brother "You're so lucky you're my brother." he muttered, causing Sam to smile. "Thanks Jack. I actually feel better with you backing me up."

The brothers exchange a quick fist bump and reach the back of the house, where they immediately freeze.

Before them a pen full of the meanest bulls the'd ever seen laid open and Alejandro and Heather sat on the roof of a small alcove for the bulls, an old dinner triangle in Heathers hands and a large tin basin in Alejandro's.

Sam gulped "H-hey now! No need to do anything crazy. Me and my brother here will leave, then you to will be able to do what ever, no problamo! There's no need for us to hate on each other." he said, keeping his voice down as not to spook the bulls.

Alejandro frowns "Actually, we don't hate either of you."

Jack blinks "Really?"

Heather nods "You're both just doing your jobs. We respect that. You also saved us from getting kicked out of the mall back their."

Sam sighs in relief "Then theres no need for violence! We're all happy here right?"

Alejandro and Heather smirk at each other and look back at Sam and Jack.

-TDR-

Sam and Jack run around the corner of the house, being chased by the herd of bulls.

"Run! Faster!" Jack cries as Sam is too frightened to do much else. They see the gate is now closed and spot a large tree in the yard which they immediately climb.

Sam and Jack look down at the herd staring at them angrily and look straight at the cameras.

"Well, it looks like we're gonna be here a while. So, Alejandro seems to be doing okay, has a steady job, hot girl friend and an excellent car. What more could you ask for?" Sam asks the camera, causing Jack to roll his eyes.

"A competent staff, not to wear girl clothes, and not to be in a tree with angry bovines wanting to pulverize you below?" Jack answers in a snide tone.

Sam shrugs "Fair 'nuff. So it also seems Heather and Alejandro have not only held on to their wicked edge, but are not to be messed with. Will we get down? Will Alejandro and Heather be anywhere near Alberta when we do? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Reality!

* * *

Alright, another chapter is done, and another character is off the list. Now if you wouldn't mind, please review! Their the only way I know I'm doing a halfway descent jod with this!

(1) Alright, I don't own Total Drama, but the Drama-mobile is totally mine!

(2) This is my nick-name for Alejandro. Why? His last name is Burromuerto, Burro is donkey and Muerto is death. These both describe Alejandro well seeing as how he's a Jackass and he was a deadly competitor. So there you, Jackass of Death.

(3)I'm gonna go through and translate what Sam told the camera guys.

(a) Te kudasai. Hishatai no chikaku o shutoku - Do a close up of the subject please.

(b) Tagu kare!- Tag him.

(c) Tagu kanojo! Hinan kōdoburū! Gō! Gō! Gō! - Tag her! Escape code blue! Go! Go! Go!

(4) I'm only doing a translation for these two phrases because the others are well known and easily translated.

(a)muy cabreado - really pissed

(b)Dama perfectamente sexy - Perfectly sexy lady.


	4. Ezekiel

Authors note: I am so sorry about the lateness of this chapter! Life decided to get in my way and I didn't get to post it till today. But, I have good news. The next chapter is gonna be early! And it'll be a special Valentines Day chapter where we learn that Sam has a girlfriend! Who is it? Thats a surprise. See you Monday!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Total Drama Series. If I did, Trent would have a nine fetish, Zeke would have gotten a bigger part, and their still would have been musical numbers cause I gotta admit, some of them were pretty good.

* * *

Sam and Jack are back in the Drama-mobile, Sam smiling "Welcome to another installment of Total Drama Reality! Three days ago, we ran into Alejandro, who's dating Heather now. Go figure. Still, the two proved a lively pair to follow, in the course of following them, we were nearly kicked out of a mall and trampled by bulls."

Jack rolled his eyes "You say lively, I say friggin evil." he growled.

Sam just shrugs "Meh, trauma builds character. Still, after checking back at Al's apartment it's clear he's not there, so we're guessing hes either hiding from us or with Heather heading for her home in Ottowa, Ontario."

Jack groans "Man! That's gonna take forever to get to! Why the hell aren't we taking a plane?"

Sam blinks "We are taking a plane. Or, we're taking a plane into the other provinces. See Chris arranged for a private plane to take us around looking for the conestants, but we drive to those within the provinence."

Jack nods "Oh, I see, weird. So, where are we off to now and who's the poor shmuck getting tailed?"

Sam smirks "Red Deer, home of Waskasoo Park and Ezekiel, our next victim."

Jack grins "Excellent. I've been looking for an excuse to give that guy a wedgie."

Sam rolls his eyes "For those at home who don't know, after Zeke's little Sméagol he was given medicine and eventually got better. Apparently it was a side effect of his peanut allergy."

Jack blinks "Creepy, and I thought he was acting more like Gollum than anything."

Sam opened his mouth to correct Jack, but shut it, figuring it better to just let it go. "Anyway, after TDWT Zeke's parent's sued Chris for reckless endangerment of their son, and won the case with the help of a good lawyer provided by Courtney of all people, not to help Zeke but to further spite Chris."

Jack shakes his head "She is one messed up chick."

Sam nods "Totally. So, what will happen with Zeke? Has learned anything about other people? Does he have any nasty scars from the lava? Find out today! On Total! Drama! Reality!"

-TDR-

Sam and Jack are now seen at night standing in front of a large-ish brick house with a large barn in the back. Sam is knocking on the door and and jack rubs his arms "Dude, I seriously got the creeps out here. If I hear anything remotely resembling banjos I'm running back to the car and leaving you here."

Sam nods, not paying attention to Jack as the door finally opens, revealing a tall, lanky young man in a wool plaid shirt, grey carpenter pants and a green toque. "Hi, what're you do'in here soo late eh? Wait." he peers hard at Sam and Jack who look at each other before nodding "Oh, it's you two. Come on in."

Sam and Jack enter the home cautiously and follow Zeke into a brightly lit, cheery looking kitchen. Sitting down at a small table. Zeke sighs "So, I guess you'll be wanting too do an inter view huh? Yoor lucky my parents are away."

Sam blinks "What the? Yeah, but, wait, how the heck did you know? Our show doesn't air till at least next month so we keep the element of surprise around you guys."

Zeke nods "Yeah but Izzy told me two guys were foolowin the contestants and figured it was Chris eh."

Sam looks more confused "Wait, you've had contact with Izzy? She's a harder person to find than Jimmy Hoffa!"

Zeke smiles "Oh she stops by regularly eh. Usually it's cause she wants to drop off a criminal to detain, jewels shes heisted, or to make out really quick."

Jacks jaw dropped "Whoa! Wait! Back it up! So not only are you aiding and abetting a wanted psychopath, but your dating her as well!"

Sam shakes his head "Sounds more like Aiding and a-bedding."

Zeke rolled his eyes "I won't till marriage eh. Though there was one time.."

Sam quickly interrupted "TMI Zeke. So, when your not kissing the definition of crazy, you're farming I take it? Unless the barns for show."

Zeke nods "Yeah, foor a while at least. See, after I went nuts on Total Drama World Tour, my parents sued Chris for both letting me jump into a volcano, which was fake by the way, but also for trying to ditch me nine times."

Jack nods "And that bought you this farm in civilization."

Zeke grinned "Oh yeah, the look on Chris's face was priceless. Still, I'm currently going to collage to be a teacher eh? And I think I'm going to try and get Izzy to settle down and do something that isn't life threatening."

Sam smirks "Kay, you do that. And if you succeed let me know, I want to see if you can spin straw from gold too."

Zeke laughs "It might be difficult, boot not impossible."

Their conversation is stopped by a loud, electronic hum from outside "The hell?" Jack asks as the three step outside.

Overhead, an impossibly large, brightly lit alien spaceship hungover head. Sam and Jack stared in wide eyed terror, but Zeke simply shook his head "Noot a again eh?"

A spotlight is shown on the trio, and they're drawn up into the alien craft.

-TDR-

Sam and Jack's eyes snap open and they look around. They were in a small, metallic cell with Zeke sitting in the corner. "Oh, yoor awake eh? You two've been out foor at least three hours."

Sam shook his head "Three hours? That doesn't make any...Oh no!" Sam starts running around in a circle, trying looking at his butt. Jack stares at his brother "What in the name of Bargain Pete are you doing?"

Sam looks at Jack panicked "I'm trying to see if I got an anal probe!"

Jack tilts his head "Anal probe?"

Sam sighed "It's where they take a big metal hoop-a-joop, and shove it up your butt.(1)"

Zeke laughs and shakes his head "Doon't woory eh, these aren't the probing type of aliens."

Sam breathed a sigh of relief "Thats good."

"Disections however, are another thing entirely eh?"

Sam screamed and Jack straight up pimp slapped him "Chill man! We can make it though this! But I need you calm, alright?"

Sam gulps and nods "Yeah, yeah alright. First things first, we need to get out of this cell." Sam pauses and looks back at Jack "I need you to hit me again."

Jack gives Sam an odd look "Not that I mind, but why?" Sam sighed "Because if we start a fight, the aliens will come in and try to break it up."

Jack grins "And then we go and break them up!"

Sam grinned as well "Precisely now what we need is" but his plan was cut off by a fist to the nose knocking him to the ground. Looking up he stared at Jack. "...OW! What the hell man! I didn't explain the plan, I didn't even say go. What is you mal-" he was cut off again by another punch.

Starring at the younger sibling, Sam launched him self at the boy and the two wrestled each other to the ground.

After a few minutes of this, Zeke speaks up for the first time in a while. "Um, fellas?"

Sam and Jack glare at Zeke, beaten up pretty good. "What!" they growl in unison.

Zeke points to the door "The guards are here."

Sam and jack look over to see two aliens. These aliens had large, dead black eyes, wrinkly green skin and wore stark white jumpsuits, They were each about four feet tall and long, skinny fingers were clasped around odd weapons. The brothers look at each other before charging at the aliens. Random shots and punches could be heard echoing from the cell but the noise was ended in a second. For a minute the silence was deafening, before being shattered by a war cry from Sam, a piece of the alien jumpsuit wrapped around his head like a bandanna, holding an alien lazer rifle while Jack followed shirtless, holding a cudgel the buzzed with electricity, and Zeke who meekly trailed behind weaponless. (2)

Sam, Jack and Zeke run into a large room with a control panel by the door. "Hang on eh, I'll get the door." he said, hitting different spots of the panel.

Jack looks at Zeke oddly "How're you doing that?"

Zeke didn't look up, eyes fixed on his work "Me and Izzy were abducted by a ship almost exactly like this one a few months back. I learned how to hack these doors with the help of a gilr from the fifties."

Sams eyes widen "Wow, that a pretty long time to be on a ship."

Zeke nods as the door opens "Wala!"

Jack beams "Zeke, you're a bloody genius!"

Sam nods "Yeah, what happened to the other ship though?"

Zeke smirked "The prisoners we freed took it out of Earths orbit, but left a transporter node near the barn so we can visit whenever we like."

The three look inside the new room. Zeke said the girl on the last ship called it the engineering core. It was a huge, two story room with Aliens running all over. Just then, a large group of security ran towards them, weapons at the ready.

Sam looked over at Jack "Ready Butch?"

Jack smiled "Ready Sundance."

Sam readied his weapon "Lets ride." and with that, the two brothers screamed at the top of their lungs, blasting and swinging at the Aliens.

The battle was intense, Jack was beating the snot out of the aliens with his "shock stick" and Sam covered him from behind an overturned table. At one point in the fight, Zeke got hold on an alien hand blaster and joined Sam behind the table. Jack jumped behind the table and wiped some sweat off his brow. "Guys, I don't know how much longer we can keep this up."

Zeke shook his head between shots "Don't worry eh! We'll make, just don't panic."

Sam and Zeke pulled the triggers of their guns, but were greeted with a sharp click, signifying that the two adults were out of ammo.

Sam gulped "Ooookkkkaaaayyyy, start panicking."

Just then, a huge explosion sounded and the boys looked up too what would be later described as a miracle. Izzy, the psycho hose beast of the north, was leading an army of escaped prisoners against the aliens. She held a shock stick in one hand and an alien pistol in the other, leading her forces with a savage screech. Looking at the three boys behind the table, she waved the shock stick madly in the air "HI ZEKEY!"

Zeke held up a hand "Hey babe."

Izzy bounded over and jumped into the air and knocked Zeke to the ground, planting a big kiss on his lips.

Jack groaned "Public kissing and glomping, the only things that could possibly ruin the awesomeness of fighting aliens."

Sam shrugs and hands him Izzy's shock stick "Take it out on the green dudes."

Jack snatched the weapon up with a nod and dove into the riot, swinging at anything that moved.

Sam sighed and looked at the entangled pair "So, what do we do now? Storm the bridge?"

Izzy looked up and shook her head "Nope. They brought me straight there when I was abducted. The ship is twice the size of the last one and would take days to take over properly. I think you and you're brother should take one of the escape pods back down to Earth. And don't worry" She smiled at Zeke "We've got it from here."

Zeke smiled softly at his love and looked at Sam "Spend the night at my place. I knoo for a you'll be sore in the morning and will need a calm place to rest."

Sam nods and grabs Jack "We're going."

Jack frowned and nodded, grip tightening on his weapon.

Sam rolled his eyes "I know what your thinking and yes, you can keep the shock stick, we need some proof this was real after all."

-TDR-

Zeke leads Sam and Jack to the escape pods and they're launched back down to earth. The metal pod crashes just outside Zeke's farm with a thunderous boom, creating a small crater and opens shortly after. Jack clambered out and began to feverishly kiss the ground. "Land! Terra Firma! I missed you badly!"

Sam climbs out gingerly and looks up at the sky sand shakes his head. Looking at the escape pod he takes his Japanese crib notes out and states "Kore de dete kuru koto ga dekimasu.(You can come out now.)"

A lone camera ninja climbs out and looks at Sam. "Shinseina tawagoto! Anata wa nani ga okotta shinjiru koto wa dekimasu ka?(Holy shit! Can you believe that just happened?)"

Sam shook his head "Iya, anata wa subete sono kenri firumudesu ka?(Nope, you did film all that right?)

The ninja nods "Hai(Yes)"

Sam grinned "Well, that was, shit, that was freaking awesome! I got to shoot aliens, Jack got to club aliens, we met Zeke and Izzy, it's been a full day. Now, me Jack are probably gonna sleep for the next few _days_ before heading to Calgary, the place I live and home of another Total Drama contestant."

Jack looked up "No kidding? I didn't know that. Did you bro?"

Sam shrugged "Nope, it's a big city, I'm tired, I'm heading to bed, night." Sam said at a mile a minute, entering Zeke's house in a hurry.

Jack looked at Sam oddly and back towards the camera ninja, who gave a thumbs up to show he was rolling "So, yeah. What's up with Sam? Is he tired? Or is there something more there? Even more important, how big will our raises be when Chris gets the footage of the ship? Find out Next time, on Total! Drama! Reality!"

* * *

And another one bites the dust! Thats it for now but stay tuned! As always, drop a review cause they help keep me sane and writing.

(1) This is the definition of an anal probe given by Chef from the first episode of South Park.

(2) The look of the ship, aliens and weapons are all from Fallout 3: Mother Ship Zeta pack. Yeah, I have absolutely no originality.


	5. Eva

Authors note:Happy Valentines Day viewing public! I got you the gift that keeps on giving, a new chapter! As I said before, We'll learn more about the show today, and more importantly, Sam's love life. So grab a box of chocolate and lets dig into Total! Drama! Reality!

Disclaimer: I own many things, the Total Drama series isn't one of them.

* * *

Jack was standing outside a small brick building, Mickey's World Famous Gym written on a large window. "Welcome back viewers to Total Drama Reality! Last episode, We fought aliens with Zeke and Izzy! Chris wasn't sure if the footage was real or not, but he said that it was still amazing stuff. He also sent a copy of the first episode off for screening and the test audiences loved it! He said that the show would be better if we got a female interviewer to help, but thats it! We are officially awesome!" he said, growing slightly hysterical.

Taking a deep breath, he looks calmer "Now, Sam said he had some important things to take care of so he left me in charge while he away." he looks slightly worried "Now most people would be nervous about being left in charge of a show like this, but not me. No, what I'm nervous about is that Sam left me in charge of interviewing Eva! Eva! The girl who turned the Sasquatchanaqua into a hat!" he sighs "Now, Sam said she mellowed out since Total Drama Island, but I don't know. Will I survive? Will Sam get here in time to save my butt? Find out! On Total! Drama! Reality!" he said, cutting to the theme song.

-TDR-

Jack enters the gym, wearing a black muscle shirt and blue shorts, carrying a small duffel bag. Looking around, he spots Eva lifting a barbell wit at least one hundred pounds on it. Jack gulps "I've got an odd feeling that's her warm up routine." he shakes his head. "Sam better be disarming a bomb in the middle of a children's hospital, or else I'll murder him for this."

-TDR-

Sam is shown in a Flower shop looking over their selection "I think I'll take a dozen violets please." he said looking over at the woman behind the counter, who smiled "I see, that'll be seven twenty five." Sam hands her the money and takes the flowers, hoping into the Drama mobile and driving off.

-TDR-

Jack is run on a treadmill next to Eva, both are keeping a good pace but Eva is shown to be running at a higher speed.

"Hi, um, your Eva from Total Drama Island right?" Jack asked, earning a glare from her.

"Yeah? what of it?" she growled, causing Jack to gulp. "I-I was just curious. What have you been up too since the show? Besides keeping that great shape obviously."

Eva took her eyes off Jack and kept running. "For your information I actually work here at the gym as a trainer, but it's only part time so I can work on becoming a professional athlete."

Jack nods "Cool, cool. Anything else? Are you seeing anyone?"

He's mildly shocked as he watches Eva blush faintly. "Well there is one guy. He's really sweet, didn't judge me just because I made a few mistakes on Total Drama Island, and he's pretty cute to boot."

Jack smirks "Really? I thought it would have taken at least another year before you found a guy who'd be willing to date you." he said jokingly, finely lowering his guard.

A bad move on his part as Eva growls. Instead of beating him to a pulp right then and there, she merely stops her treadmill, reaches over and punches a few buttons on Jack's.

Jack looks at the console with fear filled eyes as the machine picks up speed "Eva! What'd you do? Why isn't this stopping?" he said, running down the machine pushing buttons wildly. The speed finally proved too much for the young man as Jack tripped over his feet and was shot off the treadmill and into the back mirror, were he stuck like a car window Garfield.

"Oww..." he moaned, sliding down the mirror to the floor. "Sam you better have a great excuse for leaving me with her." he muttered climbing to his feet.

A bell chimes, indicating a new person had entered the gym and Jack her Eva gasp followed by an oddly familiar voice. "Hey beautiful, miss me?"

Jack turns around slowly and his jaw hits the floor at the sight before him. There was his brother, holding a bouquet of Violets and Eva wrapped in his arms, kissing him passionately, earning a few whoos from the other gym goers.

Jack gained his senses and said the first thing that came to mind. "Was zum Teufel!" (1)

-TDR-

Eva and Sam are seen putting the flowers in the Drama-mobile as Sam looks at Eva. "Hey, feel up for a race?" Sam asks with a smirk.

Eva grins "Always Speedy."

Jack exits the gym and watches as Sam and Eva run off down the street. "After them! Or whatever that is in Japanese!" he said, running after the two forgetting that the ninjas where contractually obligated to follow the two of them unless instructed otherwise.(2)

-TDR-

Sam and Eva stop outside a large apartment building, puffing slightly "Twelve miles in about twelve minutes." he grins at Eva "You've been practicing."

Eva smiles "I told you I'd match your pace one day."

Sam nods "That you did." he looks up at the building "Kay, seems we've hit my apartment building. Interesting?"

Eva smiled slyly "Mind if I use your shower? After all the exercise and running, I think it's all but necessary"

Sam nods "Of course you can. I think I'll join you too."

Eva grinned "I love it when you talk dirty to me."

Sam blushed "Thats not what I meant and you know it."

Eva pouted playfully "Too bad." she said, walking into the building.

Sam stared after her and immediately followed "You planned this, I know it."

Eva grabbed him by the collar "Duh." she said simply, pulling him though the door.

A moment later, a Ninja runs up to the building carrying an exhausted Jack. "Too...much...running." he moaned as he was set down by the ninja.

Looking up at the building Jack sighed "SO they went back to his place, great." he said, climbing to his feet and walking inside.

-TDR-

Jack had walked over to Sam's apartment, still slightly tired from the jog but generally okay. He knocked on the door only to have it gently swing open.

"Sam? Your door was open. You okay in here?" Jack asked, looking around the average looking apartment.

He heard the fain sounds of a shower running and light giggling coming from the bathroom.

Walking over to the door he knocked "Sam you okay dude?"

The water was shut off instantly and Sams voice rang out. "Yep. Everything's fine up here, thank you. How are you?"

Jack furrows his brow, Sam only used that quote when he was nervous "Are you sure dude?"

This time, a more feminine voice called out "He said he's fine Jack!"

An awkward silence fell over the apartment. Eva Chose her next words well. "Oops."

Jack takes a deep breath "Sam, I'm going to go faint on your couch now. Wake me up when you're descent."

"Will do." Sam said. Jack nods and walks over to the couch, where he promptly faints.

-TDR-

A moment later, Jack is sitting in a chair, a blank look on his face. Sam and Eva are sitting on the couch, holding hand and exchanging worried glances.

"So..." Sam began but Jack raised his hand, eyes shut tight.

"Sam, there is nothing you can say. Not a single thing you could possibly do would make me forgive you. That moment is tattooed onto my hippocampus. The images I picture are pure nightmare fuel. I"

Sam interrupts Jack now "Harvey's for lunch on my tab?"

Jack gets up and nods "And you've been absolved. Lets go." he says, exiting the apartment.

Eva throws an odd look at Sam who shakes his head "He's an easy bibe."

"Ah" Eva says, following Sam to the Drama-mobile being pulled up by a camera ninja.

-TDR-

Jack, Sam and Eva where now in a Harvey's(2), Sam and Eva are eating happily, telling each other what happened durring their time apart.

Jack starred at his half eaten food.

Sam put's down his Great Canadian with Cheese and looks at Jack "Something wrong little buddy?"

Jack glares at him "Something wrong? You're dating Eva! You never told me!"

Sam shakes his head "Wrong. I did tell you, last year in fact. Remember?"

Jack shuts his eyes, concentrating on remembering him mentioning her "Oh yeah! You did say you were dating a girl named Eva, but you never said it was Eva from TDI!"

Sam calmly eats his onion rings "Cause you would have found some way over here and caused trouble."

Jack crossed his arms "Not at first."

Eva chuckles and Sam looks at her "Something on your mind?"

Eva grins "Your cute when your arguing with your little brother. Reminds me of my siblings." her smile softens "It's really sweet."

Sam smiles "Come here you." they lean forward and start kissing again.

Jack stares at the two in disgust "Good lord people we're in public!"

Sam and Eva both flip Jack the bird.

Jack puts and slouches in his seat, taking a hit of his Pepsi "Sure, flip off the seventeen year old, that's responsible." he mutters to no one in particular.

-TDR-

Later that day, Jack and Sam are playing video games in Sams apartment, Eva going back to her own place to pick something up. "Look I'm sorry I freaked out about you dating Eva. It was just a bit of a shock." Jack says looking over at his brother.

Sam shrugs "Apology accepted, and I'm sorry about this morning."

Jack shakes his head "It's...nothing. Besides you've promised to buy me a new video game for my silence. All's right with the world."

Sam chuckles "To tell you the truth it was Eva who wanted our relationship on the down low. Given her fifteen minutes of fame weren't that great, I think you can understand why."

Jack nods "I understand that. I understand why you like her, she's a really nice person when you get to know her."

Sam grins "Thank you."

Jack sighs "But what I don't get is how. How did a smart-alec like you bag a fitness buff like her."

Sam smirks "I just showed her what no one else did save a few key people, kindness. I showed her I thought she was an awesome person despite what her time on camera showed. You see, What the cameras didn't show after Eva's freak out was that she rebuilt the whole cabin afterwards and Courtney giving at least two whole speeches on why Eva was a danger to the team and that her muscle wasn't worth the risk."

Jack raised an eyebrow "Harsh."

Sam nods "Yeah. I also went with her to Scotland to interview that one lake guy. She really tried her best to interview him but got flustered and hit him with the Mic."

Jack chuckles "Yeah that happened quite a bit."

Sam looks around and whispers Jack "It was scripted."

Jack blinked as he processed this new information.

He then looks at Sam with wide eyes "No way!"

Sam nods "Yep, the network couldn't find Zeke or Duncan and needed something to fill in the time, so they paid Eva to act angry for the show. She did it on two conditions."

Jack looked at him expectantly "What were they?"

Sam smirked "One, I went with her to Scotland. Two, the peanut gallery got access to the coffee bar."

Jack grinned "Awesome, but I thought you got them coffee anyway?"

Sam smirked "Less time getting people coffee meant more us time."

Jack made a face "Forget I asked."

Sam laughed, but stopped as soon as he heard a knock on his door. "I got it." he said getting up and walking over to the door, showing Eva standing with a duffel bag at her side. "So when are we going?" she asked, causing Jack to look at her with confusion "Going were? To the gym? Mars? Candy apple island?"

Sam chuckled and tapped his fingers together nervously "Uhh yeah. Jack do you remember that call we got from Chris?" Jack paused and nods "Yeah, he said we were pulling in killer rating but thought the show needed a female interv-you son of a bitch!"

Sam held up his hands "Shes interviewed people before and she knows the campers better than we do. She can help us Jack."

Jack stares at Sam for about a minute before screaming "No! Nyet! Wrong! I want my agent! I want my mom! I want my agents mom!" Jack continues ranting for a while.

Sam sighs and looks over at Eva "You wanna take it from here Eva?"

Eva smirks "Just look straight right?" Sam nods and Eva turns her head straight "Well, now you know, I'm dating the hottest host on tv. How'd I get so lucky? Where will the road take us next? Will Jack ever stop whining? Get the answers to these questions next time on Total, Drama, Reality!" she said, before Sam wrapped his arms around her neck "Hottest host on Tv huh?" he said, causing her to smile softly "You know it." She said gently. They lip lock once more as Jack storms by "And another thing, cut that out! Kids are watching I think!"

* * *

And here ends the valentines day special. Like it? Hate it? Let me know! I need reviews! They keep me happy and not ranty.

(1) Jack is speaking German, what he's saying in German I'm not allowed to say in polite company.

(2)This part got a note because I felt I should explain what it means. It means that since The Ninjas are supposed to follow Sam and or Jack, Jack didn't need to shout or run after them, since the ninjas were following Sam anyway.

(3)Harvey's is an actual Burger chain in Canada that serves all the items I've mentioned.


	6. Sierra

Disclaimer: I don't own the Total Drama series, quit asking!

* * *

Sam, Eva and Jack are seated in the Drama-mobile, Sam and Eva up front and Jack is in the back pouting.

"Awe, what's wrong pumpkin?" Sam said in a teasing tone, Eva pushing his shoulder playfully.

Jack glares at him "Your girlfriend took my spot." he said coldly.

Sam smiles "Look Jack I know it's tough having a new mommy but I still love you just the same, okay sport?" he said in a kind tone, doing his best not to laugh.

Eva was snickering hard and Jack merely kicked Sams seat in reply. Sam laughed and stopped the car at a check in gate near the back of the air port. Flashing his papers, the guard let Sam through and he cruised the airfield looking for the carrier plane Chris promised.

"Lot ninety-four, lot ninety-five, Lot ninety-six! This is it now lets take a look at the...plane!" Sam yelped as he saw the vessel. Parking the car, the three get out to look at the , their passage through most of Canada. It was a large carrier plane, large enough to fit the Drama Mobile with ease. That wasn't the problem. No, the problem was that it looked like the Total Drama Jumbo Jet mk 2, now with more rust!

"Thats not a plane, thats a dirty old piece of crap!" Sam said in disdane.

Jack blinks "So, wait, did Chris rebuild the old plane except worse?"

Eva shakes her head "No, the old plane didn't have a girl painted on the side." She said, noting the pin-up girl painted on the side of the plain.

"Yep, that's m' wife up there, posed fer the painting an' everything." The group turn to see a tiny old man, wearing thick coke-bottle glasses, a leather aviation cap, a brown bomber jacket and a pair of dirty grey work pants.

"Great story, who are you again?" Sam asked, his eyes narrowing.

The man smiled "Name's Peachy. I'm yer' pilot fer the show. You must be the young feller Chris said'd be come'n. Pleasure t' meet cha." he said, offering a friendly shake to Eva.

A split second later, Jack and Eva are trying to pry Sam off the door of the Drama-mobile.

"Sam come on! He said it was a joke!" Jack said, struggling with his older sibling.

"That plane is a joke! I'd rather take a camel across the Yukon before I set one foot on that death trap!" Sam hissed.

Eva sighed and yanked the boy off the car. "Look, come here." she said, pulling him into a deep kiss. Sam smiled and leaned in, closing his eyes and drifiting into the kiss, it felt like he was floating through the air with Eva's lips pressed against his.

After a few minutes they part, Sam panting and opening his eyes. "Wow. he said, before looking around and realizing they were sitting side by side in the St. Marie "Oh come on! That was an awful, yet very rewarding, trick!" Sam stammered, trying to decide which it was more, hot or evil.

"You know you loved it, now buckle in so Peachy can take off." Eva said with a smirk.

Sam grumbled and strapped himself in. After take off, he decided to survey his surroundings. Looking around, he noted that the plane seemingly had been updated a little. The seats felt new and the part they were in had significant repairs done.

"Hmm, maybe it's time we met with Agent Violet." Sam murmured, taking out a blackberry from his pocket and punched in a number. "Hey Eva sweety, where'd old Peachy say he was flying this tub?"

Eva pouted "I hate when you use my pet name like that. We're headed for Regina, Saskatchewan." she said, looking out the window.

Sam, waiting for the phone to ring, sighs and nuzzles Eva's neck "Sorry Eva, I've just been under a lot of stress, I kinda hoped you being here would relieve some of that." he said, gently sucking on her neck. Eva moaned and moved to embrace him but a feint voice was heard from Sam's phone and was followed by a loud pop as Sam tore himself away from his girlfriend.

"Hello, Agent Violet? It's the Colonel. Look, I wanted to know how fast it'd take you to get to Regina, Saskatchewan? Yeah, it's time to meet up. Uh huh, great! I'll see you in a couple of hours. Email the the directions to me. okay? Oh, and I want you to bring the info on Napoleon alright? Great. I'll see you there. Bye." he said hanging up the phone, smiling evil.

Eva raised a worried eyebrow. "Uh, who was that? And who's Napoleon?"

Sam waved it off "Nothing, just talking to one of my sources of info on the casts where abouts. You know, if I wasn't able to pick you as the third co-host you would've been Agent Midnight."

Eva smiles "Agent Midnight huh? Sounds sexy."

Sam smirks "Only the sexiest for my top agents."

Eva smiles "Agent Midnight reporting for duty Colonel."

Sam kisses her on the lips and the two begin to make out as jack walks into the back.

"Hey guys! Peachy is one awesome dude! He flew planes in World War two and your making out again. That's cool, be right back." he said as he disapeard towards the front again.

The young couple continue to make out, unaware of Jacks presence, but suddenly stop when they're doused with a splash of cold water.

"What in the name of John Jacob Jingle Hiemer Schmit was that!" Sam shouts, looking behind him to see Jack holding a pitcher of water grinning evilly. "About time you two stopped, pretty soon you would have run outta air, so I kinda saved your lives." Jack said as Sam and Eva rose, dripping wet.

"Well then, I think we need to properly thank him, don't you Eva?" Sam said icily.

Eva nods, cracking her knuckles "Oh yes, lets."

Jack starts to back up nervously "N-no, that's okay. Helping others is it's own reward you know?" Jack said before running towards the front of the plane, Eva and Sam in hot pursuit.

-TDR-

The plane landed two hours later at the airfield, and the Drama-mobile was unloaded soon after. Sam and Eva enter the car calmly and Jack follows, limping slightly.

"Alright, I have to admit Eva that was a killer atomic wedgie. Where'd you learn your technique?" Jack says as the car starts, looking at the buff girl.

Eva shrugs "I grew up with four older brothers, it came with the territory."

Sam nods "Yeah, and I've met them. It was, interesting. I never really had a charlie-horse before that day."

Jack shivers "I don't want to think about it. So, where's this Agent Violet Eva mentioned?"

Sam turned down a street and kept going. "A coffee house not too far from the airfield. We'll be there in a couple of minutes."

Jack blinks "Really? Thats cool but how'd they get there so fast?"

Sam smirked "It's part of her talents."

Eva growled "Her?"

Sam put a hand on Eva's shoulder, rubbing gently "Easy, she's just a friend. You know for a fact I only have eyes for you."

Eva sighed and Jack looked out the widow "Hey I think I see it!"

Sam looks and nods "Good one Hawk-eye."

Pulling into a spot, Sam park the car and the three get out. Entering the shop, Jack goes to make an order for them and Sam and Eva scan the small building for his contact. "Got her." Sam said, point towards a table.

Eva blinks "That was fast. How do you know it's her?"

Sam smiles "Because she's the only one with purple hair."

Eva looks and gasps. Jack comes up holding their coffee "Hey Eva what's up?" he looks at the table occupied by Agent Violet and sighs "You know Sam, you could have just told us Agent Violet was Sierra."

Sam grins, walking over to the table. "And ruin the surprise?"

There was no mistaking her. She had regrown her trademark purple hair, and she had healed nicely. She was wearing a home made "I heart Cody!" shirt and and a pair of skinny jeans.

Sitting down Sam looks at the violet haired stalker and smiles gently "Hey Sierra, how've you been?"

Sierra snorts "Oh, you know. Keeping tabs on my friends, helping you, trying to get a court to legalize Cody and I's marriage."

Sam nods "Yeah. Oh, this is my brother Jack, and you know Eva."

Sierra nods "Yep. Eva, age twenty one, nationality Canadian/Czechoslovakian, has four older brothers, a cat, can bench 134 pounds, and has been dating you for two years now."

Sam nods "Impressive. Now"

Sierra interrupts "But I also have info on you to! And Jackrabbit, since your part of the Total Drama series now."

Jack pales "How did you know"

Sierra smiles "Your nickname from when you were a kid? Sam told me with the promise I'd help him track down some of the other contestants. He also told me you got the name because you had buck teeth and you loved carrots. You've been dating girls on and off for a few months and still sleep with a stuffed moose named Tysel"

Jack punches Sam's arm "Traitor!"

Sam shrugged "She asked nicely."

Sierra smiles "But Sam told me a bunch of cool facts about himself too! Like was an intern for the first two seasons and then got promoted to one of Blainley's assistant, moved to Geoff's assistant when Blainley became a contestant. He used to get coffee for the peanut gallery since they were banned do to not being on the show."

Eva smiled "You were such a softy."

Sam smiles "And now I'm an in-human monster the likes of which plague nightmares, aka a reality tv show host."

Sierra laughs "Good one. I also know he loves Italian and Chinese food, Eva, and the Total Drama series. He thinks that classic rock was the highest point in musical history but still listens to more modern stuff like the Gorillaz and loves Lady Gaga."

Eva and Jack look amused and turn their eyes to Sam who now looks pale "Uh, So! Sierra, did you get that info on _Napoleon_?"

Sierra nods "Yeah! Here you go." She says, rummaging through her purse and handing Sam a manila folder full of paper.

Flipping through, Sam nods and smiles "Excellent, simply excellent. He lives close by. We'll be able to find him after our next stop."

Jack looks at Sam oddly, but shakes his head and looks back at Sierra "So how is it that you got here so fast? Must've been really tricky."

Sierra waves it off "Oh no! I just hired some pirates to help me. They sailed me over no problem."

Sam looked alarmed "You got pirates to help you? Where are they now?" he said in a panicked tone.

Sierra grins "You wanna meet em? Come on in boys!"

Sam whipped around to the door "No wait don't!" but it was too late, the pirates had entered. They were your stereotypical pirates, wearing long coats, hats, stripped shirts and the like."

All of the sudden, Loud pops could be heard as the ninjas revealed themselves, looking angry.

Sam was terrified, and grabbed Sierras arm "We need to go, now!"

Sierra looked around unaware of what was happening "What's going on?"

Jack grinned like a lunatic, practically shaking with excitement. "PIRATE VS. NINJA FIGHT!" and with that, the two sides charged the other, weapons at the ready.

"Keel-haul the Pajama wearing sissy's!" One of the Pirates called, the others arring(1) in agreement.

"Kaizoku sukamu ni sumiyaka ni shi o o wasurenaku!" (Bring swift death to the pirate scum!) The ninjas leader shouted, spurring his men on.

Running out of the building, Sam Sierra and Eva caught their breath.

"Alright Sierra, do you know where the pirates leader is? We need to see if they can call off this feud." Sam asked.

Sierra nods "Yeah, she's a part of my chat group, she's in town for a convention!"

Sam runs over to the Drama-mobile "Hop in! Give me the directions as we go on."

Eva looks at him "What about Jack?"

Sam shakes his head "I've watched him take down alien security guards with a hunk of metal, he'll be fine."

Both girls stare at Sam who rolls his eyes "Long story, we need to go." Eva and Sierra nod and get into the car, which peels off in search of the pirate queen.

-TDR-

Sam, Eva and Sierra are standing outside a hotel room. Sam looks at his contact "You sure this is the right room."

"You take those ninjas and send them crying back to there mothers!" A harsh voice calls from inside the room.

Sierra nods "Positive."

Sam gulps and knocks on the door. After a few seconds the door opens revealing a five foot seven teenage girl with shoulder length brown hair worn straight, and brown eyes. "Can I help you?" she asks sweetly.(1)

Sam blinks and looks around her trying to see if anyone else was in the room. Eva sighs "Are you Cerridwen, Queen of the high seas? Boss-lady of the pirates fighting ninjas in the coffee shop?"

The girl grins "Yep. Who wants to know."

Sam blinks "Well I'm impressed. Listen, we need you to call off your pirates and let the ninjas go, we need them to tape the show we're shooting."

Cerridwen puts a hand on her hip "Look, you know as well as I that Pirates and Ninjas are almost instinctualy drawn into combat. While I could do that it'd be hard on the crew and wait," she blinked "You're taping a show? Now?"

Sam nods "Err yeah, Total Drama Reality, should start early August."

The girl squeals "EEEEEE! I was a part of the test group they showed the pilot too! You were awesome, and Jack is sooo cute." She giggles "Could I get his number?"

Sam starts to speak but pauses, and grins "Tell you what..."

-TDR-

The Drama pulls up in front of the coffee house where Jacks sitting out front, pirates exiting the building. "Status report Jack?"

Jack sighs "Little casualties on both sides. The pirates where about to get the upper hand when they stopped for some reason. Whats up with that?"

Sam chuckles "Err yeah, about that. Boys."

Jacks is about to ask what Sams talking about when he's carried off by the pirates "Wha! What's happening?"

Sam waves to Jack "Adios kiddo! Have fun on your date!"

Jack screams "Date! What date? Is she cute? Sam? SAM!" but he's thrown into a car and taken by the pirates.

Eva blinks "The Ninjas live in exchange for a date with your brother. Thats really messed up."

Sam shrugs "Meh, he'll live. Cerridwen didn't seem that nuts, right?"

Sierra shakes her head "No more than me."

Sam opens his mouth but shuts it "Not even gonna touch that one. So! We learned That Sierra's doing okay and that she's been helping me keep tabs on the contestants. What's next? Who knows? All I know is that we're gonna need to kill a couple hours till Jack gets back. Tune in next time for Total! Drama! Reality!"

* * *

And that concludes chapter six. Like it? Hate it? Let me know in a review!

(1) This Character is a gift to my dear friend Cerridwen-Maiden, who's been a great source of inspiration for this story. All rights to Cerridwen, Queen of the high seas belong to them.


	7. Announcement

**Okay, a minor family emergency has popped up and I don't have time to post the story. **

**Don't worry, it will be updated later, tomorrow at the latest. T**

**hank you all for you patience-**

**Icecold288**


	8. Beth

Authors Note: Thankyou for being patient with me. Yesterday was really hectict, but thankfully everythings alright. It opened my eyes somewhat and I've descided that I'm chaning the schedual of these updates. I'm going to be taking an extra day between updates to go over my work and allow for anything else that might rear it's head. Thank you for your time, and now our story.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Total Drama sieries or any of it's characters.

* * *

Sam, Eva and Jack are driving down a heavily wooded area. Sam and Jack look preety tired and Eva can be heard sleeping in the back.

"Wel-*Yawn*. Welcome back to Total Drama Reality." Sam said sleepily "Well, it's been a while since we met Sierra and Cerridwen, the pirate queen. Jack came back from his date relatively unharmed, happy even. After giving the cameramen a few days to heal, we're now heading to our next subject, Beth! Since we got kind of a late start, we're now driving to their house in the middle of the night. Has she changed? Will she let us crash at her place? Stay tuned to find out."

Jack sighed smiling "Dude, that date rocked so hard! We had lunch on her personal ship, I got to bord a another pirate ship, and we ended the day blowing stuff with the cannons! Cerri is an awesome girl, I might see her again sometime." he sighs, looking like a love sick puppy.

Sam grins and start chanting in a thick southern accent "Jacky's got girlfriend! Jacky's got a grilfriend!"

Jack rolls his eyes "Very funny. Though I gotta say "Demon Jack, Blood King of the Pirates has a certain ring to it."

Sam nods "That it does. but I'd keep it to yourself, so the ninja's don't panic."

Jack nods "Kay. So, what'd you and Eva do while I was gone?"

Sam paused and thought back to a few days ago, after bidding farewell to Sierra.

-Flashback, to the future!-

Eva and Sam are sitting outside a small motel in the drama mobile, stuffing fastfood wrappers into a trashcan outside.

Sam sighs "Alright, with lunch out of the way, we still have an hour to kill Cerridwen drops Jack off at the coffe shop."

Eva nods "What do you want to do?"

Sam tilts his head "I dunno, it's kinda wierd without Jack here to censor us."

Eva laughs "Yeah, We could totally make out right now and not be bothered."

Sam chuckles, nods and the two young adults pause. Eva suddenly pounces on Sam and the two beguine a heavy make out session right there in the car.

-End Flashback-

Sam shrugs "Watched pay-per-view movies." he said rather quickly.

Jack blinked "Okaaay. So, we near her house yet?"

Sam looked up and smirked "Seeing as how it's right in front of us, I'd say we're pretty close." parking the car, Sam turned around and gently shook Eva "Sweety, wake up we're at grandma's."

Eva muttered an okay, and bent down to tie her already tied shoes and blinked "Oh very funny ass hat." she grumbled.

The three got out of the car and walked over to a large farm house, not unlike Zekes but a little older and more animal pens in the back.

Gently knocking on the door, they waited for a few minutes before the door opened up revealing a short girl wearing a pair of thick lensed glasses, her brunet hair was worn down to her shoulders and she smiled cutely at he visters "Eva! You're here, and you brought friends! Come on in." She said opening the door.

Sam smiled softly "Thanks, look, it's pretty late right now and I think it'd be best if we saved intro ductions for tomorrow when we're awake and ready, all right?"

Beth nods "Sure thing. Err, we didn't really have time to prepare a guest room, Eva can bunk with me of course, but would you two mind sharing a room with Earl? He's really nice I promise."

Sam yawned "Beth I'm so tired I could share a room with Chris with no complaints."

Beth smiled "Alright, let me show you to your rooms then."

-TDR-

Mourning broke on the farm. The sun rose over the horizon and a rooster crowed, waking everyone up. Jack opened his eyes and stretched and pushed himself up from his make-shift bed on the floor. "Merf, what time is it?" he asked looking to his left finding himself centinmeters away from the snout of a large pig, which oinked out a good mourning.

"Yeep!" Jack sqeeked as he flew to the other side of the room. Sam entered and grinned "Mouring Jack. See you already met Big Earl here." he said, leaning down to rub the pig bend the ears. Jack groaned "Oh, he's Earl. cripes I thought it was Beth's uncle or something."

Sam shook his head "Well it's not. Now come on, Beth wants to talk to us."

Jack follows Sam down to the kitchen where Beth and Eva are chatting pleasently.

"So you've been living on your parents farm till you save up the money to get your own place."

Beth nods "Yeah, I'm taking online classes to become a vet. When I get my degree I'll either get my own place or move in with Brady."

Eva smiles "Sounds nice. Oh hey guys, bout time you got up. Beth, this is Sam and Jack. Sam's the older one and my boyfriend, Jacks younger and dating a pirate." She said, turning to Sam and Jack. Sam smiled and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

Beth gasped "Hey! I remember you! You were that one assistant that brought the peanut gallery coffee in the mornings! You were so nice. you used to talk to me and Eva all the time!"

Sam chuckled "Yeah, I also talked to Geoff too but that was after Blainley became a contestant."

Beth made a face "Ugh, yeah, she was a total witch. How could you stand to be around her."

Sam chuckled "Denial and a positive attitude mostly."

Jack spoke up. "So Beth, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

Beth grinned "Well, I was wondering if you could help out with a few chores on the farm, if you don't mind. Most of our farm hands are either away or sick, and we'd apreciate the help."

Sam sighed and shook his head playfully "All you had to do was ask. You let us stay the night, it's the least we could do to repay you."

Jack smirks "Sides, a little hard work won't kill us."

Beth beamed "Thats great! Sam can feed the chickens, Eva can help me with the hogs and Jack can help load some of the other pigs into the trailer."

Sam grinned "Alright team, you have your assignments, break!"

-TDR-

Sam had been given a relatively simple task, toss feed around the chicken pen. "Heh, I'll be done in time to help the girls before you can say ee-ai-ee-ai-oh." he said to himself as he tryed to open the large metal trashcan Beth had told him carried the chicken feed. Struggling with the lid, Sam grit his teeth and yanked "Come on ya stupid- WHOAH!" he yelped as the lid came off with a loud pop, covering Sam in the feed.

*Cough* *Cough**Pttthhh* Sam coughed and spit out some excess corn dust. Looking up, he saw at least a dozen or so chickens, staring at him with dead, black eyes. Like a dolls eyes, with a tiny, hungry spark hidden deep within.

Sam gulped "Oh dang."

Then swiftly, and without warning, the chickens attacked. (1)

-TDR-

Two farm hands were watching Jack in amazement "Kid, I gotta say, in all my years of doing this kind of stuff I've never seen anyone who could make pigs march in formation." one said shaking his head.

As the man had said, the pigs were marching obiently into the trailor, Jack chiding them on.

"Left! Left! Left, right, left!" Jack said before looking up with a grin "It's easy really, you just need to show them who's boss."

The farm hands still shook their heads and paused when they heard a nois in the distance like someone screaming. "Did'ja here that?" The other farmhand asked, Jack shaking his head

"Probably a car backfiring."

-TDR-

Beth and Eva put the slop buckets down and bent over a nearby sink to wash their hands. "See, that wasn't so hard now was it?" Beth asked, albowing Eva. The buffer girl laughed "Guess not. Still, you must be able to do this stuff blindfolded having grown up here."

Beth giggles "Eh, you get used to it. Still it was really nice of Sam and his brother to help out. I wonder how their doing?"

Just then, Sam ran past the girls at a blinding pace, the flock of ravenous chickens hot on his heels. "!" Sam screamed as he past, trying not to get pecked to death.

Eva sighs "That answers half that question."

Beth gasps "Oh no. I should have warned Sam that dumb lids sticks on the feed can. The same things happen to two other farm hands."

Eva stared at Beth "What happened to them?"

Beth avereted her eyes and twiddled her fingers "Err, remember whe I said a couple of them where out sick? I meant that like they where in the hospital."

Eva immeaditly turned on her heel and ran after Sam "Unhand my boyfriend you birdbrains!"

Beth gulped as Jack ran up to her "Beth! This has got to be the most fun I've had all trip, do you think you could talk my brother into staying a little longer?"

Beth gulped "Actually, I don't think you could talk Sam into stepping foot on another farm after today."

Jack frowned "Why not?" He looked up to see his brother in the distance getting attacked by the fowl fouls. Jack seemed unmoved "Huh, don't see that everyday."

Beth looks at Jack "Are you going to do something."

Jack nods "Of course. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jack laughed, falling to his knees holding his sides.

Beth shook her head "What an odd group."

-TDR-

The four young adults were now back in the kitchen, this time sitting in front of a large breakfast prepared by Beth's mom for being such a tremendous help, and as a way of apologizing to Sam.

Sam was now covered in numerous ban aids and feathers, twitching slightly "I want eggs benedict, omlets, poached eggs, chicken nuggest, anything that could be seen as a big eff you to those rotten birds." he muttered, filling his plate with things other than eggs despite his rantings. Eva rubbed her beaus back gently, trying to help him relax while Jack happily ate a stack of pancakes.

Wiping his mouth, Jack excused himself and snuck into the front room, where he straightened up and smiled "So there you go, Old McDonald my brother ain't. Will he find himself having more in common with Tyler now? Will I consider coming back to visit, cause seriosly, this trip was awesome. We'll find out next time on Total, Drama, Reality!"

* * *

And theirs the next chapter. Kinda short but my weeks been really busy. Next chapter is going to be a special one with an appearance of an OC from one of my favorite Authors. So tune in next time, and remember to read and review, it's common courtesy.

(1) This chapter was practically written around this one sentence.


	9. Leshawna & Previews!

Authors note: The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated, I was only dead for three minutes! Seriously though, I've been horrendously busy, and with a nice big writers block on top pf it didn't help things. Well, I'm back now and I promise to start my return off with a bang! So, not only do you get a chapter today but you'll get a preview of some future chapters! Now that's out of the way, let the show begin!

Disclaimer: After all this time, I still don't own The Total Drama series! Nor do I own Lena Green, she belongs to 1000greensun. However, I do kinda own Beabbits, at least, I own the name. Yep I total named them.

* * *

Sam, and Jack were sitting in a stark white waiting room at Ontario general hospital. Jack is bobbing his head along to the beat of a heavy metal song playign on his Ipod Touch. Sam was in a sour mood, grumbling at the latest edition of "Star Stalker Magazine".

Jack takes his head phones out and smiles at the camera "Welcome back to Total Drama Reality. I'm your host with the most, Jack. Last time, we left beth's farm with a lung full of country air, a great home cooked meal, and in Sam's case, a hatred of all chickens."

Sam cringed at the mention of the foul...fouls, but kept his eyes glued to the magazine.

Jack shook his head "Alright, after we had our fun at Beth's, Sam took us to Newfoundland to pay a visit to Chris, aka Napoleon. Makes sense if you really think about it. Anyhoo, we tried dozens of time to break in, but it was all for not. Not only does Chris have a killer security system, but the guys got freaking attack beavers! Attack beavers! I couldn't make that stuff up if I tried!

After a while however, Chris finally ended Sam's little game. He scheduled an interview with Star stalker magazine and told them all the juicy details about his newest wife Lena Green. Apparently an environmentalist, shes done some jail time and loves mother nature something fierce. She owns a pet beaver named Peaches, who's half the reason Chris has the attack beavers. Still, after the interveiw, Chris sent Sam an autographed copy signed "To my second favorite host, better luck next time." along with a weird critter Chris's been selling on the side. Sam took it as well as one would expect."

Sam growled and carefully put the book back in his messenger bag. As he withdrew his hand, an audible chomp was heard and Sam howled in pain, a tiny animal chewing on his hand.

"Arrg! Stupid rabbit, beaver, rat thing! No wonder Chris got rid of you!" He said as he yanked the tiny creature off his hand and tossed it to Jack.

Catching it, Jack stroked it's fur, calming it down. The camera zooms in to show the creature looks like a small beaver, except the beaver had large, floppy ears and buck teeth.

"You poor thing. Did the big nasty Sam scare little Peaches Jr?" Jack cooed, making Sam roll his eyes.

"It bit me! Again, for like the seventieth time! That stupid thing is evil, and probably in league with the chickens."

Jack shook his head "Okay first off, this little guy wouldn't know a chicken if it pecked him on the head. Next, it isn't a thing, it's a Beabbit, a beaver rabbit."

Sam grumbled "It's a mutant, that's what it is."

Shaking his head, Sam looked staight at the camera "Now, you all might be wondering Why the heck we're in a waiting room. Well, Eva's been getting really sick, especially in the mornings, and we're having her checked out." he stated, ending with a heavy sigh.

Jack rubbed his brothers back "Hey, Eva's gonna be just fine dude. She's a strong girl, she can take whatever this is okay?"

Sam smirked "Yeah, you're probably right."

The door to the back opens, and Eva steps out looking pale as a sheet.

Sam walks over to her immediately. "Baby, are you alright?"

Eva nods and smirks slightly "I-I'm fine. The doctor said it was nothing serious and gave me some pills to help me along."

Sam nods and kissed her "I'm glad to hear it."

Jack simply watched them and rubbed Peaches Jr. behind the ears.

"You ever get the feeling there's something going on you don't know about?" he asked, getting a small chitter response.

-TDR-

A while later, the group is standing outside an apartment, Sam looking over a sheet of paper "Yep, 211. Leshawna should be right through this door." he said, knocking on the door.

a second later, an older Leshawna opened door wide "Hey Eva! Glad you could make it girl."

Leshawna hadn't changed much since her time on Total Drama. She was a little thinner, and decided to take out her ponytail in favor of wearing her hair down, but it was the same Leshawna everyone knew and loved.

Sam smiled "Hi Leshawna, I'm Sam and this is my brother Jack. Would you mind if we came inside?"

Eva sighed and turned to Sam "Sammy, sweety, could I maybe talk to Leshawna alone."

Sam nods "Okay, what about?"

Eva sighed "You, me, us. Look, I-I need some time to think about us and were we're heading okay? I" She bursts into tears and runs into the apartment, leaving a stunned Sam and Jack out in the cold.

Jack turned to his brother "Sam? What just happened"

Sam said nothing, tears welling in his eyes.

Jack grabbed his brother and led him down the hall "Come on buckaroo, lets head back too the hotel. I'll even let you watch that girly pony show you like."

"Friendship is Magic is a well written and engaging show that transcends age and gender. I like it and so does, so does" Sam choked, breaking into a fit of dry sobs, Jack patting his back gently.

-TDR-

Leshawna and Eva sat on the larger girls couch, Eva sipping a cup of tea, Leshawna's mouth wide in shock

"I'm sorry, I musta been hearin things. You're WHAT now?

Eva sighed "I'm pregnant alright? I feel bad enough already, you don't need to make me feel worse."

Leshawn pinched the bridge of her nose "I'm not, but I just can't figure out how."

Eva blushed "Well, I sure it was our anniversary. Sam had turned the guest room into a gym so to thank him I put on this skimpy"

"Okay!" Leshawna interrupted "I get how IT happenened, I just thought it wouldn't happen to you."

Eva sighed "I know. I'm so scared. What if Sam hates me? What if he doesn't want the baby?"

Leshawna hugged Eva "It's alright. I'm sure everything will be fine. From everything you told me, Sam's crazy about you, he's probably somewhere with his brother trying to figure out what happened."

-TDR-

Leshawna was right on the mark. The two brothers were in their hotel room, Sam was laying on the bed, starring at the ceiling and Jack was reading a notepad, PJ on his shoulder "Maybe you forgot her birthday?"

"It's May seventh." Sam replied in monotone.

"Your anniversary?"

Sam smiled a bit "Three months ago. I remember because not only did I turn the guest room into a gym, but Eva put on this really skimpy"

"Moving on!" Jack said, not wanting to hear anymore.

Sam sighed "Onto what? Unlike most guys I made it a point to remember all the important days. I can't figure on why she's shut me out."

Jack sighed and threw the notepad aside "Maybe it's not you. You've been dating steadily for what, three years? Maybe she wants something new."

Sam sighed "Jack I know how keep things interesting, trust me. Do you think I'd have gotten Chris to give me the show if I didn't? Still, three years is quite a while huh?" Sam sat up and looked deep in thought.

Jumping out of bed, Sam made his way to the front door. "Come on boyo, I'm gonna spring something a little early."

Jack and PJ look at each other and follow Sam, wondering just wha on earth he had in mind.

-TDR-

Eva sighed and put down her cup "Okay. I'll tell Sam just whats going on. If he leaves me" she shook her head "I'll live, maybe put the kid up for adoption, but if he accepts, we'll just see were it goes from there."

Leshawna smiled "There you go girl. Sounds like you got this thang down."

Eva smiled "Yeah, thanks for talking with me Leshawana, you were one of the few people I respect from Total Drama."

Leshawna grined "Cause I beat you and that bears butt right?"

Eva laughed "Right. Still, how've you been? I heard you and Harold broke up."

Leshawna sighed "Yeah. We just turned out to be too different. I like going out and doing stuff and being active. Harold's more of a stay at home and spend time alone sort of guy, it just wasn't working out. But hey, it happens."

Eva nods "Still working on becoming a nurse?"

Leshawna grinned "Yep. I'm going to collage and everything. Heh, sounds kinda boring compared to you and Sam's lives."

Eva sighed "Yeah, I better go find him now, he's probably a wreck."

A knock on the door caused both girls to turn their heads "Now who could that be?" Leshawna muttered, moving towards the door.

Opening it wide, Sam stepped in and waved "Hey girls, mind if I come in?"

Leshawna shook her head "Nah, come on in white boy. Me and Eva where just talking about you."

Sam nods and walks up to Eva, Jack and Leshawna standing back in the door way.

Sam looked at Eva and sighed "Listen, I don't know why you wanted me to leave. Maybe I forgot something, maybe I'm boring, maybe you just needed some alone time with your friends and just asked for it weird. What ever the case, the thought of loosing you scared me. Eva, I can't stand the thought of being away from you. I love you, always have, and always will. Eva" Sam reaches into his pocket and pulls out a beautiful engagement ring "Will you marry me?"

Eva gasped and hugged Sam tightly, audible pops emanating from the young mans skeleton "Of course I will! Oh Sammy, I'm so sorry for scaring you. I love you too, it's just that I'm pregnant and I was afraid you'd hate me."

Sam shook his head "I could never hate you, even if you're, wait." he blinked and moved Eva at arms length "You're what now?"

Eva gulped "I-I'm pregnant. You're going to be a dad."

Sam paused "I see. Excuse me a moment." he said, walking out the door and down the hall.

Eva was trying to remain calm, Jack and Leshawna ran to her side.

"Oh god, he hates me, he really"

"WHOO!" the three lookout Leshawna's window to see Sam doing back flips down the street. "YOU HEAR THAT ONTARIO? I'M GONNA BE A PAPA! WHOOHOO!"

Jack chuckled lightly "He's taking this better than I thought."

Leshawna looked at Jack confused "Hows that?"

Jack shrugged "Well, he told me if he ever found out he was gonna be a dad he'd steal a parade float and drive it around town."

Their attention was caught again by the sound of police sirens and looked to se Sam had indeed stolen a float with a crudely made "I'm a dad" banner attached and was leading police on a low speed chase.

Jack laughed "My bad, looks like it just took a minute to find a float. I'm gonna call Chris and get the bail money ready."

Eva nods and looked ahead "Well there you have it. I'm having a baby, Sam's getting arrested, and Jack got a new pet. All in all. pretty good day. We saw Leshawna's doing fine and now wondering why all this crazy stuff happens to her."

Leshawna shook her head. "Girl after four years of this stuff I'm used to it now. *Sigh* Infact, it's kinda comforting, things were getting alittle too quiet."

Eva nods "Well, that's all for now. See you next week on Total! Drama! Reality!"

* * *

Well, there you have it. I'm back, rested, and ready to kick some major butt! And now, the moment You've all been waiting for, the previews! Now, rather then spoil the surprise of which order they'll come in, I'll just list the campers.

Courtney- "Aww, what a cute baby!" Sam cooed as he approached the young woman with an infant in her arms. Courtney chuckled "Yep, this is Nicolas, my pride and joy. Also a big "hands off he's mine!" signfor his dad's fan girls.

Owen- "Are you sure this is safe?" Owen asked, growing more nervous by the second. Jack shrugged "Looked good on paper. Fire!" he shouted, lighing the fuse. Ten seconds later, a loud boom echoed through canada as Owen went soaring out of the cannon, screaming all the way.

Gwen- She ran to the two boys, tears making her mascera run "Stop! This all my fault!"

Cody- The low rumble shook the ground, causing the nerd to sweat "Stampede!" Jack tilted his head "Of what? Cattle? Bunnies?" Sam shook his head "Worse, fan girls!"

Geoff- "I do" he said, smiling down at the love of his life.

Duncan- "Sup bra?" The punk asked, seconds before Sam planted an angry fist in his face.

And there you have it! A brief look at things to come. What happened? What led to these events? That's for me to know, and for you to read about.

Remember, reviews make me smile, so put a big old grin on my face and give me a lot!


	10. Courtney

Authors Note: Okay, new chapter up. This is part of a three chapter long story arc that'll reveal a bit about Sam, Eva, and three cast members of Total Drama Island.

Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama or any of it's characters. So quit asking!

* * *

Sam looks forward at the camera grinning like a loon "Welcome back to Total Drama Reality. Last time, I became a dad! Yes! Can you believe it? I'm so happy!" he takes a deep breath. "But that's not all, see, Eva wasn't sure I'd wouldn't take to the idea of a little bundle of joy so she left to talk to Total Drama's number one soul sister, Leashawna. After a bit of moping and decision making, I went back and asked Eva to marry me, and she said yes! *Sigh* Best day ever"

"Keep it down back there eh? You'd think you were on a TV shoo wit the way yoor talkin." A cop said, the camera panning out to reveal Sam's in the back of a Squad car. "We knoo yoor excited aboot having a kid on the way, but you can't steal floats all willy nilly eh." The driver said, trying to be as nice to Sam as he could.

Sam grins, camera panning back to him. "Where will we go after I make bail? Who will we see? Find out on Total Drama, Reality!" He said in a audible whisper.

-TDR-

Sam was sitting in the , grinning ear to ear as Eva laid with her head in his lap. "This is so surreal." she said looking at her ring.

Sam shrugged "It shouldn't be. I was gonna save the proposal for the end of the season, but things got bumped up in the schedule."

Eva blinked "So wait, you wanted the season finale to be you proposing to me on live tv? Starting off the next season with us married?"

Sam grinned slyly "You got it."

Eva leans up and kisses him "You're an evil genuis you know that?"

Sam nods "I try babe."

Jack pokes his head out of the cockpit "Ten minutes to land guys. Say, who are we seeing this time?"

Sam smirked "One of the most psychotic and vicious people in all of Canada!"

Eva blinked "Izzy?"

Sam laughed "Nope, Courtney!"

Eva and Jack paled "I'll bring a first aid kit then." Jack muttered, disappearing back into the cockpit.

Eva sighed "He'll need four." she muttered, earning a malicious chuckle from Sam.

-TDR-

The Dramamobile pulls up infront of a small, white house in a neighborhood outside of Toronto. The kind of house you'd expect to see on the front of a home decoarting magazine, well kept, cheery, and a Vote Courtney for mayor sign staked into the lawn.

Jack rolled his eyes "Gee, I wounder where she could be?"

Sam gave an agreeing nod as the three exit the car and walk up to the house. Jack took a large breath and rang the doorbell, summoning the girl who wrapped a light pole around Harold. After a few minutes Courtney answered the door. "Can I help you?" she asked cautiously.

She seemed to have become more relaxed in appearance, her long Auburn hair tied back in a short pontail, wearing a black skull t-shirt and blue shorts.

Eva smied "Hey Courtney, you're looking well."

Courtney blinked and grinned "Wait, Eva? Is that you?"

Eva chuckled "Yeah its me. Me and friends were in the neighborhood and thought we''d drop by. Mind if we come in?"

Courntey smiled "Of course not! Come on in! Let me just get the door." she said, letting the three hosts into house.

Walking into the house, they were less then surprised to find the inside of the house was just as nice as the outside. The walls were a calm blue, the carpet was cleaned withing an inch of it's life, and a small play pen was set up in the corner full of toys.

"Nice place." Sam said looking around.

Courtney nods "Yeah, I was doing a little cleaning today."

"Meaning she wasn't scrubbing the spaces in between with a tooth brush." Jack whispered to Eva.

"Sorry but that's only for when my mom vistis." She said, flashing Jack a sly grin.

Jack blanked but Sam and Eva smiled "Sorry boyo, but one of the things the show underplayed was that Courtney has super bat hearing."

Countey nods "Thats right. How'd you know? Were you one of the interns on the show?"

Sam smirked "Yeah, for the first two Total Dramas. I'm Sam Kinsferd, The younger one is my brother Jack and you've already met my beautiful fiancée Eva."

Courtney looked at Eva who shyly showed her the engagemetn ring and gasped "Oh congratualtions you two! You must be so excited!"

Speedy thuds echoed down the hall as a small child entered the main room and looked at Sam, Eva and Jack with big, curious eyes. He looked about two years old, wearing a black dinosaur t-shirt and and red shorts. He his moms tan skin and freckles, but distinctive turquoise eyes and spiky black hair.

"Hi!" he said with a heart melting grin.

Sam smiled and crouched down to the boys hight "Hi there, whats your name kiddo?"

The boy laughed and ran behind Courtney. Courtney smiled and picked the child up "Nicolas sweety these are mommy's friends. You want to tell them your name?"

The boy looked at the group and yelled at the top of his lungs "Nick!"

Sam laughed "Hi Nick, I'm Sam. He's adorable Courtney."

Nick pouted and bat Sam lightly on the head "Not Adobable! Hansom!"

Sam laughed "Sorry, my bad. He's hansom Courtney."

Courtney sighed and looked at Nick sternly "What did I say about hitting people?"

Nick pouted "Sowee."

Sam shook his head "No harm done Courtney. Heck, I can only hope my own kids that cute when they're two."

Courtney looked at him puzzled when she let out a small gasp, looking at Eva. "Wait! Eva, are you really?"

Eva smiled shyly and nodded, one hand on stomach.

Courtney squealed and put Nick down to give locked Sam and Eva in a tight bear hug. "Oh this is sooo great! We can arrange play dates, share stories, this is perfect!"

Nick grinned at Jack "I'm a big broder now!"

Jack chuckled softly "Sorry dude but you need to be related to be a sibling."

Nick nodded "Momma's havin a baby. I'm a broder!"

Jack looked at the two year old before face palming "Courtney is he serious?"

Courtney grinned "Yep. I haven't told Duncan yet but I'm about two months along."

Sam smirked at the Ex-CIT "Copy cat." He joked, Eva smiling and rolling her eyes.

"Congratulations Courtney" Eva said sweetly.

Courtney smiled "Thanks. You guys want something to drink?"

Sam and Jack looked at each other, then at Eva and shrugged "Sure, we've got time. What've you got?"

-TDR-

A while later, everyone was sitting and talking, Jack and Nick playing with Lego's.

Jack looked back at Nick, who was working on a scale Apatosaurus "I see he's got his dad's eyes. Did he also get his love of fire and trouble."

Courtney smiled and sighed "No to fire yes two trouble. If this kid can make a mess he will."

Nicolas giggled in reply. "I've been bad."

Eva put a hand under chin "So, wait, it's only been a year since the end of Total Drama World Tour, that means you had the kid some time after the show."

Courtney nods "Yeah, after the show I went for a check up too see if I caught anything from the show but I got a clean bill of health and the news of little Nicolas here. I didn't want to tell Duncan at first, he was with Gwen and he was happy. But he came to me one day and told me he and Gwen split up due to being too similar, and wanted me back. I told him I had to think about it, but he made a crack about me letting myself go without him."

Jack grinned "So you shoved his head up his butt."

Courtney blushed "No, I told him it WAS his fault because he knocked me up and I had to have his baby. He was shocked silent for about ten minutes before telling me he wanted me back now more then ever. I said it was because he felt obligated to me and the baby. He agreed, saying he'd" She covers Nicolas's ears "be damned if he'd let any kid of his be raised without their dad. He didn't care if I took him back or not, he was determined to be apart of Nicolas's life and was prepared to sleep on the lawn if need be."

Sam smirked "Which you let him do."

Courtney grins evily, "Only for a few days. I still love him, my insufferable ogre."

Eva nods "That's really sweet Courtney. You two married yet?"

Courtney sighed "Yeah but it was a mess. We tried to have a small ceremony with just the friends and family, but Duncan's fangirls crashed the wedding and it was a total blood bath, each one fighting over who deserved Duncan more. We managed to sneak out and get married at Niagara Falls."

Jack blinked "Wow, thats quite a story there Courtney. Say, where is Duncan anyway? I was sure he'd be here with you two."

Courtney stiffened, concentrating on the toddler in front of her "He's out with a friend, their spending the day together. It's alright though, their leaving on a trip so I'm letting it slide."

Sam's eyes narrowed "I see. Do you know where they might be?"

Courtney sighed "At the new Zombie Guts vs. Blender Aliens movie. The theaters in the mall so you shouldn't miss it."

Eva bit her lip "All right, thanks Courtney. We're gonna go say hi to Duncan but we'll be back, we'll catch up and swap embarrassing stories about our boys."

Courtney laughed "That sounds great, but if you need to get going I'll understand." She smirks "It can't be easy taping a new show for Chris."

Sam sighed "No it's not, I've been attacked by chickens, bulls and how did you know about us taping a show?" Sam asked realizing what she just said.

Courtney laughed and waved her hand "I'm good at detecting when someones got a hidden camera on me. Be sure to get Duncan's good side won't you?"

Jack nods, opening the front door. "Count on it. See ya later little dude."

"Bye Jack! Thanks for helping me with the dinosaur!" Nick said waving as the trio left in search of Duncan.

-TDR-

Sam and Eva sat together at a small table outside the lemonade stand called "The Big Squeeze(1)", sharing a large drink and keeping an eye out for Duncan.

Eva sighed and finished the drink "So, why are we here instead of stalking the theater's with Jack?" Eva asked, handing the cup to Sam.

Sam handed the cup off to the blonde girl behind the counter for a refill before looking back at Eva "Well, we got her around noon, and Courtney said they left around ten. If the movie let out before we got here they'd likely get some food before going back out."

Eva grinned and put a hand on Sam's knee "God you're sexy when you act clever."

Sam grinned "Only for you babe, only for you."

Eva leaned in to kiss Sam when she stopped midway, eyes growing wide "Oh no..."

Sam turned around "What's wrong?" But stopped when he saw it.

There was Duncan, sharing a large plate of nachos with Gwen.

* * *

Pretty weird eh? Why's Duncan out with Gwen? Does Courtney know about this? What's Sam gonna do? Find out next time on Total, Drama, Reality!

(1) Yes, I'm making a 6teen refrence, sue me.


	11. Duncan

Disclaimer:I don't own Total Drama

* * *

Sam Eva and Jack were now outside Hot Topic, where Gwen and Duncan were looking at Punky Jewelry and laughed, remembering old times. Duncan had under gone minor cosmetic changes, he'd lost his Mohawk but upgraded his lip piercing to snake fangs. Other then that, he still looked like the punk we all know and love.

Gwen however, changed a bit more. She now sported a purple and black die job, three ear piercings and an oroborus tattoo on her shoulder.

Jack looks at the two of them "I don't know guys, they don't seem like they're acting very couplish. They look more like me and my friends at the mall. From all we know, they went here after having some nachos. Not what I call a romantic date."

Sam and Eva scowl at Jack "Guess what our first real date was Jack hole?" Sam growled, causing Jack to face palm.

"Sorry, but thats just it. It's more of a first date, get to know each other dealy, not long time material."

Eva sighed and put a hand on his shoulder "He's got a point honey. Maybe we're wrong."

The groups attention is drawn back to the store as a laughing Duncan and Gwen exit. Duncan stops laughing a bit and looks at Gwen "You know, I meant what I said about the cops on World Tour."

Gwen grinned "I know. I'd probably do the same" she said as the two walk further down into the mall.

Sam glared at Jack "Yeah, it could be a mistake, AND PENGUINS WILL FLY OUTTA MY SHORTS! Lets move!" he shouted, following close behind, leaving a stunned Jack and worried Eva.

"What flew up his butt and died? Kamikaze Norwegian anal crows?" Jack asked.

Eva shook her head and looked at Jack "Long story you probably never heard. Come on, we'll loose them." She said as they moved after Sam and the others.

-TDR-

Eva and Jack find Sam stalking his prey in Suncoast. Sneaking over they listen in to what Duncan and Gwen are saying over old horror movies.

"Yeah, I've got magazines say it's the most successful garage opened this year. Soon, I'm gonna be able to pull in enough to open more around the providence." Duncan beamed, looking proud of his accomplishments.

Gwen chuckles "There you go! Duncan Norris, owner of the best motor garage in Canada and husband of his towns next mayor. Gotta ask, how do you stand being married to Courtney?"

Duncan sighed "It's hard work, but it's worth it. Seeing her and Nick happy gives me all the reasons I need to keep going."

Jack turned to Sam "There, does that sound like a guy who'd cheat on his wife."

Sam shook his head "You don't know Jack! He could be lying, it's too easy."

Jack tossed his hands up how would you know!"

"Because I've been cheated on, for five months!Do you remember Sally Pencross?"

Jack nods "Yeah, she was one of your first girlfreinds."

"She cheated on me with her friend for five months, and never told me! Just five months of happiness that meant absolutely nothing! And do you know why? Because I gave her gifts and attention while the other sob held her close and kissed her."

Jack blinked "I didn't know."

Sam sighed "It wasn't anyones buisness, I broke it off, never saw her again. I think I'm better off honestly. Still, now you know why this is such a sore subject for me. I've now told only two people about it, and I plan to keep it that way."

Jack thought for a second and looked at Eva "You?"

Eva nods quietly "We promised to tell each other about past relationships and thats what I got. I love him but he gets so agitated sometimes."

Jack puts a hand on his brothers shoulder I think you need to let this go dude. Getting cheated on sucks, I'm sure, but you can't stop it any more then you can stop the weather."

Sam stiffened, but sighed "I think you're right."

Jack groans SAm would you listen to me for, wait what?"

Sam looks at Jack sadly "I've lived with this hatred far too long. It happened, I got hurt, it's over. I need to put all this crap aside so I can focus on more important things." He said, smiling fondly at Eva, causing her to blush.

Jack grinned "Thats the spirit! Come on, I think they're ready to go."

-TDR-

Walking outside, Sam and Jack argue about which anime is better, Eva shaking her head in the back. Looking up Eva gasps, causing Jack to look up "Whats up Eva? Oh no." He said, voice barely whispering.

Looking at his friends Sam frowns "What?"

Jack shakes his head "Don't look forward. Please, if you love Eva, if you want ot have made any progress today do not look forward."

Sam looks at his brother like he's carzy and looks forward.

There, in front of the mall, was Duncan and Gwen kissing.

Sam's world dies. There's no brother beside him trying to grab his attention, no fiancée try to get him to walk away. There's only him, and a scruffy sixteen yearold weeping on a bed. Sitting on the foot of the bed, Sam looks at his past self. "Please, I already lived through this once, that was enough."

The boy looks up, a younger, soggy eyed version of Sam scouling "Then why'd you let it happen again?"

The older Sam sighed "What should I do?"

The younger Sam growled "Hurt them."

A hand clasps his shoulder and Sam turns to see a heavily pregnant Courtney with Nick "Hurt him real bad."

And as quickly as it left, the world cam back. Sam realised he was being embraced by Jack and Eva.

Sam smiled "Guys, let go. I know what I need to do."

Eva and Jack let go, watching Sam nervously. Sam took a deep breath and walked forward to Duncan and Gwen.

"Excuse me, aren't you Duncan from Total Drama Island?"

Duncan smirks and turns around "Yeah who want to" but his words end their, cutoff by Sam slamming his fist into the other mans nose

* * *

Pretty neat twist eh? What really happened though? We only got a few segmented parts, lets see what's really going on next time. Later.


End file.
